Second semester of my freshman year totaly sucked ass. I'm pretty positive I failed my math class, had serious medical and emotional issues, and mostly, there was just the fact that I had no one to help me through it.


I have lost almost all of my friends.

I still have katie,and krista..and Leah. and my history circle.

this.makes.me.sad.

I think this was my own doing, I just didn't want to be a burden to anyone, so I shut everyone out. But then when I needed someone, I didn't have anyone.

Corey used to be my best friend in the world. He was my rock for a very long time. But now, just recently I have lost him forever. He stopped calling me, and I can't even look at him without getting angry. Angry with him because he has made NO attempt to talk to me, to find out how his "best friend" was. It seems as though when times got the worst for me he ditched us to be with the more carefree group. Great. real great. It hasn't hit me yet that this is for real, and that he'll probably never be there for me again, and it seems like I'm always the one to call him and say, 'I'm sorry I miss you.' And then, for a few moments, it's eigth grade corey to stick by me through thick and thin...and then he's gone, back to mainstream cor that doesn't care and has cooler, funner friends to do fun things with.

My friendships with the people I see the most have become shallow, Erica C. I love you and I wish I could see you more, all of the people that I had so much fun with first semester, you guys are the best.

Summertime. second day and I already feel lonely. How pathetic is that?

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ON A LIGHTER NOTE.

I saw Starwars! I actually went the night before at midnight...(not to mention it was the night before the final of the class I know I failed)...It was lovely! Dorky geeky people that would actually go to a movie that ends at 2:30 in the morning on a weekday sheerly because of it's George lucas loverliness are my kinds of people.

Ankikin in all his evilness for the first time was moderately sexy, go figure.

Oh and my most recent discovery My Chemical Romance=life.

It's 2:27. I must retire. Night everyone, and happy senoir day..

Ah, look at all the lonely people
Ah, look at all the lonely people

Eleanor Rigby, picks up the rice
in the church where a wedding has been
Lives in a dream
Waits at the window, wearing the face
that she keeps in a jar by the door
Who is it for

All the lonely people
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong?

Father McKenzie, writing the words
of a sermon that no one will hear
No one comes near
Look at him working, darning his socks
in the night when there's nobody there
What does he care

All the lonely people
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong?

Ah, look at all the lonely people
Ah, look at all the lonely people

Eleanor Rigby, died in the church
and was buried along with her name
Nobody came
Father McKenzie, wiping the dirt
from his hands as he walks from the grave
No one was saved

All the lonely people
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong?

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Oh my gosh that it the most beautifulest song ever made.  No..maybe not. I'm going to put the most beautifulest song at the bottom of my entry. yes, that's what I'll do.

So I left school early today..hopefully I would die tomarrow. But I'm feeling really bad all of the sudden I don't know what's come over me. Oh well, Um. I have a test in English tomarrow..I'm kind of worried about it. I forgot my Romeo and Juliet Book at home today..during class I was really nervous to ask her since we were like already reading when I noticed..So I started to try to like..get her attention and hopefully just like motioin out what I needed..so I caught her eye..and gestured tward the bookcase where her copies resided..but of corse tht was a mistake. she just like widened her eyes and kind of shook her head like "I can't hear you" ...And everyone turned around to look at me. So yeah. I'm so pathetic. I was like terrified. But she didn't seem to mind. Dang, I really don't like that woman.

ANWAYS.  I hope I'm better by thanksgiving. Only a day and a half of school left! YAY! Ok..I'm going to be geeky..and play fable some more. :)

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